Come On Inside!!

I don’t remember what I was doing outside after dark a while back, but I was out for some reason. Maybe I was on the phone or burning trash or feeding the animals. Who knows. Anyway, apparently I’d been gone a while. Long enough that I scared my daughter…

She grabbed a kitchen butcher knife for her protection and headed to the door. I approached the door about the same time (on the OTHER side, but she couldn’t see me because it was dark). As I reached for the door handle, I saw her reaching for the door handle inside. So I made a quick change of plans, and instead of trying to open the door, I let her open it. And I said, “Boo.” I didn’t scream it. I didn’t jump out or grab her. I just stood there and calmly said, “Boo.”

She THREW the door WIDE OPEN and screamed at the top of her lungs. I mean she SCREAMED and SCREAMED. She stood there for a good five minutes holding the knife with the door wide open screaming this ear-drum-piercing scream. I walked past her into the kitchen and looked at her as she watched me… and kept screaming…. while holding the knife… with the door wide open.

At some point, she realized that I was just Mom. The screams turned into laughter, and she laughed her butt off.

When she finally settled down, she said she thought I was a murderer or something. I couldn’t resist, I just HAD to question her – “So why exactly did you throw the door OPEN and just stand there screaming when you were HOLDING A KNIFE?! I mean, you had options. You could have CLOSED the door, locked it, and used the phone to call 911. Or just used the knife…” Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad she didn’t try to kill me or anything, but…. Hey, if a murderer ever comes to our door, I can count on her to throw the door wide open and let them right in. Even if she’s holding a knife! At least she’ll alert me.


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